Trust Is a Two-Way Street

There is a sentiment I believe with my whole heart:

Exceptional leaders don't complain about their staff.

...no matter how difficult and challenging they are!

That statement sometimes gets a reaction... Not because people disagree with it, but because it forces us to look inward.

Of course, employees make mistakes. Of course, people underperform from time to time. Of course, some individuals require more coaching than others. Leadership is not about pretending those things don't exist. Leadership is about taking responsibility for them.

When someone on your team consistently isn't meeting expectations, you have choices: You can coach them. You can create clarity. You can remove barriers. You can hold them accountable. And if, after every reasonable opportunity to succeed has been provided, the role still isn't a good fit, you respectfully help them move on.

What exceptional leaders don't do is complain endlessly while doing nothing to improve the situation.

Because ultimately, the team is your responsibility.

Start by Assuming Positive Intent

Something I consciously had to remind myself during moments of frustration during my leadership career was to assume positive intent.

I genuinely believe that most people wake up wanting to do a good job. They want to contribute. They want to feel successful. They want to know that their work matters. Yes, there will always be exceptions, but I have found those exceptions are far fewer than we often assume.

When leaders begin from a place of trust instead of suspicion, the entire dynamic changes.

Instead of immediately asking, "Why aren't they doing this?" the question becomes, "What might be getting in the way?"

That subtle shift creates curiosity instead of frustration. It opens the door to coaching instead of criticism. More often than not, leaders uncover something they never would have seen had they jumped straight to judgment.

If You Don't Trust Someone, Look Inward First

This may sound uncomfortable, but I think an important and healthy question that a leader can ask themselves is:

If I don't trust this person, why?

Is it because expectations have never been clearly defined?

Is it because accountability hasn't been consistent?

Have they received the training they need to be successful?

Have I given them ownership, or have I unintentionally micromanaged every decision they've made?

Or... have they repeatedly demonstrated that they are unwilling to meet expectations despite coaching, feedback, and support?

Those are very different situations.

Sometimes trust issues are leadership issues.

Sometimes they are employee issues.

Exceptional leaders are willing to honestly determine which one they are dealing with before jumping to conclusions.

Trust Is Earned in Both Directions

A big mistake that leaders can make is expecting trust without earning it.

Trust has never been a one-way street.

If you expect your team to trust your decisions, you also need to become someone worthy of their trust.

That means following through on the commitments you make. It means giving credit generously. It means speaking positively about your team when they are not in the room. It means going to bat for them when they need support, even if doing so feels uncomfortable.

People notice those moments.

Just as importantly, they notice when leaders disappear during difficult situations, throw people under the bus, or make promises they never intend to keep.

Trust is built one interaction at a time.

Every conversation, every decision, and every action either strengthens or weakens it.

Micromanagement Is Usually About Fear

One of the biggest obstacles to trusting our teams is fear.

We may worry the work won't be done correctly, or we worry someone will make a mistake. It is reasonable to worry that we will ultimately be held accountable.

So, we compensate by checking every detail, approving every decision, and inserting ourselves into every project and we call it staying involved.

Often, it is simply fear disguised as supervisory duties.

I experienced this firsthand with one of the best supervisors I've ever had. This person believed in me long before I fully believed in myself. They consistently gave me opportunities to grow, challenged me to take on work beyond my current role, and became one of my biggest mentors and cheerleaders. I genuinely respected them and still do... But this same leader also struggled to trust others.

They micromanaged my work, and at first I interpreted it as coaching. I thought they were simply helping me become a better leader. Over time, though, I realized something deeper was happening. Despite having a strong track record and consistently delivering quality work, it became clear that doing the work well wasn't enough. It needed to be done their way.

That slowly changed our relationship.

Instead of feeling empowered, I became hesitant. I second-guessed decisions I normally would have made confidently because I assumed they would ultimately be changed anyway. It wasn't that I lacked capability. It was that I lacked ownership.

Ironically, despite this person being someone I deeply admired, their micromanagement ultimately became one of the biggest reasons I left the organization. Looking back now through the lens of leadership, I don't believe it came from a lack of confidence in me. I think it came from fear.: Fear that something might go wrong. Fear of letting go. Fear of being accountable for someone else's work.

That's what makes micromanagement so difficult. It often comes from good intentions, but it rarely produces good outcomes.

When every decision has to go through the leader, the leader becomes the bottleneck. People stop taking initiative because they assume their judgment won't be trusted. Creativity shrinks. Confidence fades. Ownership disappears.

Trust allows people to grow. Control often prevents it.

How Leaders Build Trust

Trust doesn't happen by accident. It is built intentionally over time.

Some of the simplest ways leaders can strengthen trust include:

• Give people ownership instead of constant direction.

• Be crystal clear about expectations.

• Assume positive intent until someone consistently demonstrates otherwise.

• Coach before you criticize.

• Follow through on your own commitments.

• Address concerns early instead of letting frustration build.
  

None of these practices are complicated, but together they create an environment where people feel respected, empowered, and trusted.

Sometimes Trust Means Letting Someone Go

This is one of the hardest responsibilities leaders have... Sometimes you've done everything you reasonably can:

You've coached.

You've clarified expectations.

You've trained.

You've provided feedback.

You've created opportunities for success.

You've held them accountable.

And despite all of that, the position simply isn't the right fit for that person.

That doesn't make someone a bad person, but rather it simply means their strengths may be better suited somewhere else.

Exceptional leaders don't keep someone in a role where they cannot succeed simply because ending the employment relationship is uncomfortable. Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do is help someone move toward an opportunity where they have a better chance of thriving.

Trust Is a Leadership Choice

Trust does not mean believing people will never make mistakes.

It does means believing people are capable. It means giving them opportunities to succeed. It means coaching when they struggle. It means holding them accountable when necessary. It means believing the best about people until they consistently prove otherwise.

When leaders choose trust, people often rise to meet it.

And when trust flows in both directions, teams become stronger, healthier, and far more capable than any one leader could ever build alone!